if wishes were fishes, we'd all be at sea

yesterday, to represent the fact that i was repeatedly reminding myself that i am nearing 31 years of age and can no longer believe in magical thinking and the power of childlike, frivolous wishing, i wore my threadless "wishless" shirt.

because wishing is absolutely fucking pointless.

so then i started pondering...in this abundant, energy and thought-filled world we live in what is the difference between a wish and an intention. must our dreams (used here to glorify the term "goal") and desires fit within certain realms of possibility? certainly not, as some may argue, then there would never be any innovation or progress for individuals or society. but we're still bound to particular matters of fact or theory, such as gravity. yes, it is times like these i wish that (haha. there i go again) i could leave the young children under the care of my teenager and run away for the day with a notebook and pen and ponder all ponderables in peace until i come to some sort of working solution for myself, until the nagging questions stop nagging.

but if wishes were fishes, we'd all be at sea.

someone once told me that, as a child. i have no idea who but it stuck with me as one of the most gentle phrases i've ever heard to convey the message that we're all basically shit out of luck when it comes to wishing.

and how.

in that strange way that all things connect and make sense somewhere, last night i was driving home with just the pea in the backseat and he, out of nowhere, says, "mama, i wish we could make wishes and they'd come true."

me, too, little one.

and to keep it succinct, i won't get into the whole warning to "be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it" - i have a bit of experience with that, too. can't win for losing, sometimes.

oh no, she didn't!

yes. yes, she did.

i was flipping channels early in the morning, which i don't normally do, but i came across the CBS show the doctors and was intrigued by the question and answer format of today's episode. i'm not sure if it was a recent episode or a re-run because i've only watched about 15 minutes of the show ever.

one question came from a breastfeeding mother with a ten month old who has recently started biting her. according to her letter, he bites every time she nurses and HARD. she basically asked what she could do about this nuisance.

i was shocked when the only female doctor on the panel, dr. lisa masterson, stated the only option the woman had was to wean her son. dr. masterson explained that if an infant is biting his mother, it's an indication that the child is saying, "i'm done with you, i've had enough" or something to that effect. just wow.

i was then also surprised that a male doctor not only gave much better advice, but the advice i have used myself, successfully with my youngest two nurslings (i didn't nurse my oldest long enough to experience biting). he said that the natural reaction might be for the mother to try and pull their child off the breast as they bite, but if you've ever tried this, yeah, you know how ineffective and painful it can be so he suggessted, instead, that you gently push the baby's head towards your chest, squishing their little nose and they'll unlatch themselves so they can breathe. it's been my favorite technique and neither of my younger bite for long after experiencing that a few times. i read about it in a dr. sears book, either the breastfeeding book or the baby book, i forget which. so it wasn't all too shocking when i discovered that the male doctor that provided this awesome advice on the show, was dr. jim sears, son of the dr. sears.

while i am still somewhat livid after hearing dr. masterson's terrible advice passed off so matter-of-factly, i am very grateful that CBS has dr. sears on the panel and that he can offer a more gentle alternative to some of the things that pass as mainstream, acceptable medical advice.

sometimes i get my kids happy meals

and yesterday was one of those days.

pea was expecting a madagascar penguin toy and so he was surprised when the drive-thru attendant asked me if the meal was for a boy or a girl. because they still had the madagascar penguin signs up i had no idea which toy would be cooler and decided to be honest, and get the boy toy for my boy child.

it was the better choice, since the happy meal bag revealed that the girl toy was some iCarly crap. the boy toy (don't get me started on how mc donald's just might perpetuate inaccurate gender stereotypes) was star wars related. and as i'm explaining to my four year old that he got some sort of star wars aircraft launcher, he asks, "is that green guy on the bag a star wars character?" yes, that's yoda. "and they use life savers in star wars, right?" yes, *chuckle* that's right.


he's never actually seen star ways, mind you. but he knows all about the extendable lightsabers at target.

don't try this quinoa recipe at home

for health reasons i have tried to embrace quinoa on several occasions.

i think once i managed a hot breakfast cereal that was palatable.

today i decided to heat up some flakes in order to bulk up sprout's fruit and veggie purees.

there was an awful lot of warm, fluffy quinoa left over in the pan after i added some to sprout's lunch and put away what i'd use in his meals for the week so i decided to make pea and i an after-lunch dessert with the rest.

it sure looked pretty.

i had wanted to share a recipe consisting of some quinoa flakes turned hot cereal as per package instructions, with some vanilla extract, nutmeg, cinnamon, ground flax seeds, and a sprinkling of turbinado sugar. sounds pretty, too.

but. well. um.

i asked pea if he liked it and he said, "no. you taste it."

i didn't much like it, either, but couldn't tell if it was because it had grown slightly cold as we finished our lunch, because of the texture, or because i had mistakenly stirred it with the same spoon i'd used to stir my green chili stew.

sprout liked it better than he liked his pureed peaches and bananas but pea wasn't about to eat anymore.

i didn't want it all to go to waste so i finished my helping but let pea leave the table.
the taste and texture improved after i got over my initial gag reflex.


i want to like quinoa, i do. but aside from adding cooked flakes to the baby's food, i think i'll reserve them for baking.

Adventures in Craigslist™

it's been far too long since i last updated but i've been BUSY! not much to show for it, but i have successfully moved around the same piles of stuff several times.

and i'm keeping on top of the laundry, sort of. but without getting into a lengthy discussion of why i was even behind on laundry, to begin with, let's just skip to the humor to be found in not one, but THREE, Adventures in Craigslist™ i've had recently.

1. i listed a single, lonely oak chair. i even stated in the title of my listing that there was only one.

i had more than one individual email me to ask me if both chairs were still available.

2. i listed a very nice, solid wood bookshelf for $75. sure, i start my asking price slightly higher than what i'd accept because i know how craigslist works. today i get an email asking if the bookcase is still available and if i'd take $25 for it.

no. it doesn't work that way.

3. i am in the market for a minicrib and would prefer a modern, safe version without a drop- down side or folding "portable" (read: deathtrap) feature. i say as much in my listing but still agree to meet someone to see theirs, though i suspect it's not quite what i'm looking for. i suppose i shouldn't have wasted either of our time but the seller suggested we meet me about two minutes away from my house, so i took a chance. imagine my surprise when the lady pulls out a spray-painted flimsy minicrib with a drop down side, cracked and broken mattress platform made out of plywood that is maybe 1/4" thick with a date of manufacture of 1995. um. no.

teary-eyed thursday morning

this was the first thing i saw this morning.

my mom sent me the link in a facebook message because she obviously knows how to reach me ;)




mom 2.0: defining a moment


it is the most beautiful, touching, and TRUE sentiment on motherhood i've ever come across.

and i was inspired to write and share:

this morning, the snow is lightly falling outside
reminding me that winter really isn't almost over,
but running a little late, instead

our tender saplings, planted last year
sway in the wind, i imagine they will all survive
as their buds prepare to make an appearance in the spring

my mind is heavy and tired
my heart full of love, breasts full of milk
a reminder of last night's sick baby
on the mend now, i wait for him to nurse with
his usual delight as long he wants or needs to,
throughout the rest of this glorious day

relevant daily om

this may be interesting only to me. and my mom.

her and i talked this weekend, about all manner of things, but one being my last blog entry and what "not blaming or becoming" one's parents entails.

how ironic, in a way, that this would arrive in my inbox today...



January 26, 2010
Becoming Your Parents
Generate Your Own Patterns

Though many of the tempers and temperaments that define you are inherited, you control how they manifest in your life.


Heredity plays a role in almost all human development, whether physical, mental, or emotional. We tend to look like our parents and are subject to the same sensitivities they have. We may even be predisposed to certain behaviors or preferences. As we grow older, we become increasingly aware of the traits that exist within us and the clear history of the traits of our mothers and fathers. Our response to this epiphany depends upon whether the inclinations, tendencies, and penchants we inherited from our forebears are acceptable in our eyes. We may honor some of these shared traits while rejecting others. However, there is no law of nature, no ethereal connection between parents and children, that states that the latter must follow in the footsteps of the former. We are each of us free to become whoever we wish to be.

When we accept that our parents are human beings in possession of both human graces and human failings, we begin to regard them as distinct individuals. And by granting mothers and fathers personhood in our minds, we come to realize that we, too, are autonomous people and in no way destined to become our relations. While we may have involuntarily integrated some of our parents’ mannerisms or habits into our own lives, conscious self-examination will provide us with a means to identify these and work past them if we so desire. We can then unreservedly honor and emulate those aspects of our mothers and fathers that we admire without becoming carbon copies of them.

Though many of the tempers and temperaments that define you are inherited, you control how they manifest in your life. The patterns you have witnessed unfolding in the lives of your parents need not be a part of your unique destiny. You can learn from the decisions they made and choose not to indulge in the same vices. Their habits need not become yours. But even as you forge your own path, consider that your parents’ influence will continue to shape your life—whether or not you follow in their footsteps. Throughout your entire existence, they have endeavored to provide you with the benefit of their experiences. How you make use of this profound gift is up to you.